If you want other people to treat you with kindness, respect and love, you must first show those things to yourself.
This is something that it took me a long time to learn. I thought that if I was a nice person, giving to others, always putting myself last like a “good girl” then other people would reciprocate by doing the same things back to me.
Unfortunately, most of the time I was wrong. I was often taken advantage of, used, abused and generally treated like a doormat.
The truth is that other people will usually treat you in the way that you teach them to, the way that you model for them, by the way that you treat yourself. Put yourself last, and more often than not, others will usually follow suit and put you last too.
Sometimes you really have to blow your own trumpet and be your own biggest cheerleader or others are unlikely to notice who you really are. I know that here in England, this is something many of us really struggle with. It’s not considered “polite” to toot your own horn.
I see so many people judging themselves and their self worth based on other people’s treatment or opinions of them, or worse the amount of praise they do or don’t get.
Let me make one thing perfectly clear.
Other people’s opinion of you are none of your business!
And more to the point – they’re just opinions! They don’t mean anything!
How you choose to treat yourself sends a powerful message both to other people and to the universe – which will reflect back whatever energy & thoughts you send out.
If you have thoughts that say “I’m not worthy” or “I’ll put myself last because I don’t matter” then that’s the message you are sending to the universe, and it will obediently align to confirm that for you and create more of the same.
Now don’t get me wrong, the universe doesn’t hate you and it certainly isn’t vindictive. It’s actually completely neutral, and it exists to serve you through the law of attraction. It simply mirrors what you think & brings that about in your life.
That is all.
It’s just as the inimitable Mike Dooley teaches;
“Thoughts become things. Choose the good ones!”
The thoughts that you send out on a daily or hourly basis create your reality. I can’t stress or repeat this often enough.
So, if you want your life to be different, then you not only have to do things you’ve never done before, you need to think thoughts you’ve never had before as well.
We’ve all had a bad day before now, you know the kind. You wake up on the wrong side of the bed, stub your toe on your dresser, spill coffee down your shirt, get cut up in traffic, arrive for work late, absolutely fuming, argue with a colleague and the day goes from bad to worse!
But your day didn’t have to go that way. When you wake up, you can choose your attitude for the day, choose your thoughts, choose to see the good in everything and create a happier reality.
When you stubbed your toe on the dresser, you didn’t have to get angry and send those frustrated thoughts out to the universe.
All it did was to send them back to you – hence the coffee down your shirt! Again, you could have stopped the cycle there but you didn’t. You got even more frustrated and manifested the situation in your car and so on and so forth.
It’s a bit of a slap in the face when this is first pointed out, and I remember feeling pretty stupid at the thought that everything that was happening to me was my own “fault” per se.
“But it’s not my fault!” I protested.
And believe me I had a hundred “logical” excuses to back that up too!
These days, I choose to value myself, I’m much better at putting myself first and when I catch myself having a negative or angry thought, I try not to dwell on it, and allow myself to reframe it and move on to better more positive thoughts. I don’t let small things get to me like they used to. I choose not to get angry so often. Yes, it is a choice, a habit. You can choose your thoughts. It takes a little practise, but it can be done.
You are the architect of your life – nobody else is responsible for your happiness, just as you’re not responsible for anybody else’s. And you couldn’t force somebody else to be happy if you tried.
You are a wonderful person, a pure and perfect child of God. So start valuing yourself and set the standard for others so they know how to treat you. The universe will respond in kind by sending you better situations and people that match your new mindset, and you can feel proud that you achieved that – not by chance, but by choice.
Because you chose to value yourself.