If you want to be happy – master your mind!

I’ve been a big fan of working with the law of attraction for some time now, and I’m getting better and better at manifesting the things I want. For many years I have been trying to attract all sorts of things, not least a romantic partner, but for some reason in that area I was having little success, and many disappointments.

I spent many hours beating myself up for getting it wrong. I decided it must be my fault. I must be pushing them away or messing up the relationship. I felt like I couldn’t do right for doing wrong as far as relationships went, although friends reassured me that I was a lovely, kind person and they couldn’t understand why these men couldn’t see that.

Sad Teenage Girl

In 2011, I was lucky enough to meet the lovely Josephine Sellers in Waterstones, who was signing copies of her book Parallel Worlds. She spotted me standing looking rather bedraggled and tear-stained, after yet another traumatic breakup, hopelessly staring up at the Mind Body Spirit section, looking for answers. We had a lovely chat about her life as a medium and relationships in general. I was particularly interested to ask her how she had made her marriage work and told her how I felt, and that I blamed myself for not being good enough, for “failing” over and over again.

She kindly pointed out to me “Maybe it’s not you – maybe it’s them.”

I thanked her and left with my signed copy of her book. Her words were sweet, but I was having a hard time believing them.


Her words stayed with me though, and I decided that I needed to look into it further. After doing some more research, I learned that subconscious programming has a huge part to play in relationships and how we choose a partner.  What I found out shocked me.

In childhood we are programmed how to live. Our early experiences and role models such as our parents and family, shape how we view the world and how we make choices later on in life whether we realise it or not.  These subconscious patterns are hardwired into our brains whether good or bad, and have huge repercussions throughout our entire lives.

Even as adults, we may know and want something intellectually, but if our subconscious programming disagrees, it won’t allow us to achieve a particular goal or have a happy relationship.

The worst part is that most of us don’t even know this programming exists, so it doesn’t occur to us that it might be faulty or need updating.

My programming for relationships was pretty flawed. My childhood wasn’t a happy one and as a result my subconscious brain was hardwired to think that abuse and unkindness were “normal” and therefore desirable in a partner. Even though, as an adult, I knew intellectually that wasn’t the case, and consciously wanted the exact opposite.

Even worse, my subconscious brain didn’t even know how to recognise a nice man, hence why I’d picked so many damaged, unsuitable or plain unpleasant guys in the past! So Josephine was right. It was them, not me!

This sort of faulty programming can also completely throw off any work you do with the law of attraction in any sphere of your life, and you won’t even realise it!


Since then I’ve worked on rewriting the programming in my own mind, and I can see the changes in myself and in my life.  It’s astounding.

It’s terrifying but empowering at the same time. It just goes to show that you really are the master of your own destiny if you can become the master of your  mind!

Take control of your life, and feel great by taking control of your subconscious! You ARE the master of your destiny!



If you’d like to know more about the law of attraction and how to manifest your dream life, contact me about my upcoming Beginners Manifesting Course today!

Take Control of Your Life and Feel Great!